The Watch

Guardian“Catastrophic...” Well, the script's a stinker – even smut fans will wince at the gutter banter, and a subplot involving Ben Stiller's character's guilt over his infertility feels as if it's been tacked-on with a staplegun...

Little White Lies“A career low for everyone involved...” Should aliens visit Earth tomorrow, they might take The Watch as proof that no intelligent lifeform exists on our planet...Dysfunctional buddy comedy buffoonery abounds for the next agonising 90 minutes...

Empire“Attempts a similar synthesis of the urbane and the fantastic...” Lacking the bite of Attack The Block, Stiller and co. are happy to fall back on their usual shtick, with director Schaffer providing barely enough juice to power the laughs...

Time Out“The laughs are as cheap and cheerful as the effects...” ...packaged as pure product, aiming to snare the combined markets for loudmouth comics, sci-fi action and, er, Richard Ayoade – who, however seemingly misplaced, is the freshest thing here...

Total Film “Can’t help but say something about confused US attitudes to gun crime...” If you can ignore the disturbing parallels with recent events, this middle-aged, Middle-American Attack The Block raises a laugh...